Quickies!

Stripped To Kill - 1987

Albeit the dancers are talented and their moves are interesting, this movie lacks. I'm sure you're not really surprised. Well, actually, I shouldn't even be writing this because we shut the movie off twenty minutes in, but we were in the mood for atmosphere and poetic license - this was definitely the wrong movie to put on. So, technically, it's wrong of me to write a review on a movie I didn't finish watching but I will say this...what can you really expect from a movie where a woman poses as a stripper to catch a "stripper killer"? Not a Hell of a whole lot I would think. I'll give this another shot when I'm in the mood for big hair, "butterfaces", and a dude who made me say, "I really hope this guy isn't a main character because I already don't like him." Maybe one day, I'll properly review it.

Graveyard Disturbance - 1987

Alright, so we're staying in the same year here as the previous title, but boy what a difference this movie is. Lamberto Bava's made-for-TV flick Graveyard Disturbance delivers on atmosphere and typical Italian flair, but falls short with the campy, juvenile humor so cringe-worthy you find yourself grimacing throughout most of the ride. If you're looking for the grandeur of Demons, the masterpiece Lamberto made just two years prior, then look further because you won't find any pustular eruptions or gooey gore flowing anywhere here. Though you will find some ODD scenes including a dinner in the tombs scene, and ODD make-up choices for the creatures throughout the entire movie. I'm not saying there is no fun to be had and the movie is unworthy of watching, because it certainly is a unique film worth at least one viewing, but there's a lot missing to make this perfect and too many dragging parts in the middle. I mean, if anything watch it for this guy...

He Knows You're Alone - 1980

TOM HANKS! TOM HANKS! TOM HANKS!!!

It seems like there's rarely a good review on this film sans the name mentioned above. It's too bad Tom "White Boy Fro" Hanks' presence overshadows this early '80s slasher because I happen to think this movie is more than just his screen debut. Sure it has obvious nods to John Carpenter's Halloween including the theme music and the scenes of Caitlin O'Heaney walking down a lush suburban street a la Linda, Laurie, and Annie, but like all those clones, they all had their own hook.

The impetus behind this film is that a killer, who you know right away - another Halloween nod, is targeting young brides before their wedding day. There are some really creative scenes in this movie that make it memorable and make you want to watch it on a rainy Sunday, or near Halloween time. The ending scenes are pretty intense but the final scene is a lame attempt at a shock ending. Either way, a sentimental movie for me that I will always praise as one of the best early '80s slashers. Makes a great double feature with When A Stranger Calls.

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker - 1982

Get your nails ready because there are plenty of scenes where you will need them for biting. I've seen a countless amount of movies, but there are those that just stick with you and make an impression on you for life. This movie is one of those. It changed my life. Susan Tyrrell, may you rest in peace you talented Goddess you. This actress is a paragon! Just look at her... 

I can assure you a bigger, better write-up is coming on this movie, but for now I'm including it here to praise the shit out of it and express my love for truly unhinged performances. So the plot is pretty much this - aunt bleeds brakes, kills nephew's parents, takes over custody of Billy, can't handle nephew growing into a man, does what she can to keep control over him, and gets caught up in murdering a man who she claimed tried to rape her; however, this man is a known gay and the detective on the case is a homophobic asshole who blames Billy for the murder in order to hide his sexuality. Tangled webs get even more tangled and more madness ensues. 

It's a shame I found this movie so late in my life, but I'm thankful I did and I can't wait to watch it again. I just have to make it through the beginning car crash scene which is long and thorough and makes the opening of Audrey Rose look like a romp in the park. How they filmed it and made it so flawless is amazing to me. I definitely had a puckered asshole on that one! Must be seen to believe.