Cannibal Apocalypse (1980)

I. Fucking. Love. This. Movie.

I've watched this movie drunk, I've watched this movie sober, I've watched it high on NyQuil, I've watched it while eating breakfast, I've watched it while eating dinner, I've watched it while doing laundry, I've watched it while laying in bed sicker than a dog, I've watched it in a mobile home trailer sitting in the middle of the woods in Kentucky, I've watched this while living in a posh condo in the Chicago suburbs, I watched it in a New York basement apartment...! I've seen this movie A LOT and I will watch it many more times in my life! If you haven't seen it, then what the hell is wrong with you?! You're missing out. SEEK IT OUT NOW!

Playing off the title Apocalypse Now, the original title for the film was Apocalypse domani - translated from Italian as Apocalypse Tomorrow (another great alternate title was Invasion of the Flesh Hunters). The film is Italian and Spanish made, but many things set it apart from the typical films in this specific sub-genre. Parts of the film were shot in Atlanta and Decatur Georgia, creating an anytown USA vibe to it which I love and I think that's one of the reasons it stands out from the other cannibal movies at the time. The film starts in the jungles of Vietnam where Norman Hopper (the unmistakable and charasmatic John Saxon) recognizes his old friend Charlie Bukowski (the amazing Giovanni Lombardo Radice aka John Morghen)  as a P.O.W. being held captive in a hole in the ground guarded by a bamboo cage. As Norman reaches in to save Charlie, he notices that he and the other captive are chowing down on flesh and guts - a glorious gore buffet. Charlie's fellow captive lunges forward and takes a chunk out of Norman's arm.

Norman wakes up from his Vietnam flashback nightmare and as his wife assures him everything is okay, he looks down at the scar on his arm. His retreat downstairs makes you wonder if he's having a delayed reaction to a possible cannibal virus that had been carried by the P.O.W. who bit his arm; he stares into the refrigerator and sees blood dripping from the meat and for a moment you're thinking he's going to pick it up and eat it.

Obviously this is years later from the happenings at the beginning of the movie. By this time Charlie is being released from the mental hospital and looks Norman up in the phone book, giving him a call, but Norman has been busy entertaining the under-aged next door neighbor who flirted her way into the house to borrow a hair dryer. I mean, seriously, you can't write this shit. Oh wait...! Anyway, while on the phone with Charlie he starts to act strange and hangs up. After turning down advances from his under-aged guest, Mary, he changes his mind and takes a bite into her flesh - somewhere below the belt...?

The following scenes are part of why I fell in love with this movie. Charlie gets off a subway and walks around downtown Decatur. As he's walking around and dodging a biker gang making advances to two pretty ladies jogging around the plaza, he spots a movie theatre showing a war movie and decides to go in. Yeah. A war movie. That's the perfect movie he needs to see right now, right? There's actually some trivia here that you horror buffs may already know. The film Charlie is walking in to see is a 1979 film called From Hell to Victory and stars May Heatherly who plays Nurse Helen in this film.

Needless to say, while Charlie's eating his popcorn in the movie theatre, he's dreaming it's the neck of the girl sitting in front of him who is getting sexed up by her boyfriend. He can't resist her flesh and chomps right into her juggular, spraying out a frenzy of blood everywhere. He runs out of the theatre and makes his way to a giant department store/flea market. To be honest, I don't know what the hell this place is, but it's awesome and allows him to hide from the angry theatre mob and the biker gang who has since joined them in trying to catch him. He gets inside, some people are killed, Yankee Doodle is sang, and place is in shambles. The entertainment is endless.

The next scenes remind me a bit of Dawn of the Dead, with the whole S.W.A.T. team feel, mixed with First Blood but again, this movie has its own style and flair. The police are out front in the parking lot surrounding the place, John Saxon arrives to try and talk sense into Charlie...I'm tellin' ya, this movie has it all. They throw in some tear gas and  Norman reminds Charlie what to do. Piss on it. So he does. Eventually, Charlie is lured out of his hiding place and the cops arrest him and take him in. The next star to come into this movie is Wallace Wilkinson who plays Captain McCoy. This guy is my hero as he takes no guff and tells shit as it is.

Eventually shit hits the fan at the hospital when Charlie grabs Nurse Helen (played by previously mentioned May Heatherly) through the bars and bites her arm, ultimately infecting her. All those who are infected are descending further into their infected madness and get in cahoots as 4 of them make their getaway around town in a stolen ambulance.

Soon they dump the ambulance and go underground. As they're making their way through the sewage labyrinth, the police finally catch up with the group and shoot Charlie in the back, creating a huge hole in his abdomen. The effects are pretty amazing, being displayed in a glorious camera pan-up from the hole in the stomach to John Morghen's agonized face. Before I saw this movie, I read reviews about it and this scene in particular was one that I was looking forward to seeing as it seemed that something would be lost in the way of effects. The main reason I was curious was because I wanted to see how well executed it was - pun intended. They aced it. By using John Morghen from the neck up it made it realistic and believable. The same effect was used in Lucio Fulci's The Gates of Hell when the priest is impaled by a giant wooden cross in the catacombs. I'm assuming the actor is somehow leaning into the fake body with only their head and neck exposed. I'm sure kids today would laugh and think that it looks like crap but I would laugh in their face and tell them that this is WORK and ART - something they know nothing of because everything is lazy and digital now. I'll take primitive effects that lack over digital effects that look absurdly overdone. End rant.

I love the ending of this movie because it's left open and there's no real closure, making for a bleak yet almost laughable ending. Though Norman and his wife have a sad moment together, Mary from next door has started to infect people with the bite from Norman and you see in the end that her nagging mother has been killed by her and her little brother as he chomps away on some flesh.

Credits roll, the badass soundtrack goes to 11, and the audience has either had the time of their life (that would be ME!) or they have no taste and didn't enjoy themselves. One or the other. This movie both fits in and stands apart from the other cannibal movies. Similarities obviously include cannibals, settings in both tropical areas and cities, bumping funky soundtracks, and stern-faced actors delivering serious performances. Differences include Cannibal Apocalypse has war elements - something that is missing from the other cannibal movies at the time. Again, this was inspired by Apocalypse Now. Also, instead of New York city, the city vibe that we get is in the lush state of Georgia, creating an otherworldly feel. Well, to me at least. This is something else this movie and The Gates of Hell has in common.



There's plenty of gore and the typical bumping Italian prog rock soundtrack to go around, too. I understand that John Saxon has been outspoken in the past about not being fond of the movie, but I'm here to tell you he has since changed his mind and looks back fondly on this masterpiece. Okay, I'm making this up, but I'm going to pretend that he's proud. As he should be because... I. Fucking. Love. This. Movie!

The Massacre 24-hour horrorthon 2014!

Last year, The Massacre, followed by the GOBLIN show was probably my favorite event of mine and Billy’s so I was really looking forward to going again. We made our way up to Chicago on October 18^th and made our way back home the next day this time just for The Massacre – a 24-hour horror movie marathon playing classics we either love, like just a little, or even sometimes hate on the BIG screen!

Before we arrived in Chi-town, we stopped off at my old stomping grounds in Munster, IN. where I lived for a little over a year back in 2006-2007. Those of you who follow what I do with music will know this was where I formed and recorded with my bands SLASH DEMENTIA and WOLFHOLLOW. My purpose really for taking Billy here was to yes, show him where I lived, but mainly to take him to one of my favorite restaurants there called Arnie’s Dog House (“Where Man Bites Dog”). Even this vegetarian had to cheat on her diet that day. I had my classic order: hot dog with mustard and relish, corn dog, and a mound of their nothing special but oh so tasty French fries. Billy settled for two dogs, a pizza puff and fries. I was so happy to see the hot dog summer camp mural was still painted on the wall and they kept their old-fashioned menu as well. See pics to confirm awesomeness.

Next, I drove him through Hammond and actually got lost a few times because even though the area was familiar, a lot of it was foreign since it has changed in the last few years. Billy was able to sight-see while I lost my mind for a bit at the wheel, angry at myself for forgetting my way around, ha! Eventually, my sense of direction took over and…

Off on the Chicago Skyway we went, and with little to no further problems we made it to the Portage Theatre where our friends were waiting at the door to greet us. Not really, but most of them were gathered ‘round the vendor tables which were all near the door – and then they greeted us. After mingling a bit, it was time for me to catch the last of Trilogy of Terror. I was happy to just catch the last few moments as Karen Black bared her ancient Zuni fangs. The crowd clapped and cheered and I was ready for the next movie to begin – The Deadly Spawn!   

I was excited to see and hear the crowd being so active, but there were moments where some of them were a little too active and wouldn't shut the fuck up; however, I was happy to hear one guy’s reaction to seeing the 1974 classic Black Christmas for the first time. After the first kill his reaction was, “whoa”. After Margot Kidder’s death, “Daaaaamn”, and then when the killer’s eye can be seen protruding from the crack of the door, “What the FUCK?! Noooo, NOOOO!!” I envied this guy. This movie genuinely creeped me out the first time I saw it late night back in the winter of 1995 on Cinemax, so to see it for the first time on the big screen must have been awesome. Maybe I don’t have to lose all hope on kids today after all since he didn’t laugh and boo like the rest of the chumps he was sitting with, haha!

Other highlights include the Italian classics Dellamorte Dellamore and Dario Argento’s Tenebre. Unfortunately, I had to sit out Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive for two reasons: my ass and back were killing me, and the cold darkness of the theatre was making me extremely tired. Coffee and conversation ensued out in the lobby with great friends Matt Harding, Tom Knizner from Cardiac Arrest, and Putrid. I guess you could say it was somewhat an Evilspeak Magazine business meeting? That would be pretty accurate actually. But we all adjourned back into the theatre for the 7am screening of the Hammer Film masterpiece Twins of Evil. It was amazing to see this on the big screen and to watch it with friends. Our commentary throughout the film was keeping me awake and made the experience even more enjoyable.

As The Town that Dreaded Sundown began, the commentary wasn't keeping me as awake as I would like to have been and I didn't really think a nap would suffice in order to stick around for Day of the Dead even though that was a movie I wanted to see. We called it a day and left the windy city to stop off in Schererville, IN. for a breakfast at a restaurant Round the Clock. Can’t say that I wanted to eat there, but the other place I wanted to take Billy, Schoops, wasn't open yet. Oh well, there’s always next time!

What can I say, The Massacre was great fun and next year I’ll be better prepared with blankets and a pillow. I also plan for us to stay the full 24 hours so that we can make it in the final photo! It’s a goal, and I WILL make it happen. Who’s with me?!

For more pics visit my Facebook page

If You Want to Scare Yourself (book - 1984)

Written by Angela Sommer-Bodenburg
Illustrations by Helga Spiess
Translated from the German language by Rene Vera Cafiero

The target audience for this book may be for children in grades 3-5 but I still sit and enjoy this book every year around the fall season. At 106 pages with plenty of excellent, effective illustrations, it is easy for me to get through this entire book in one sitting.

The story centers around a boy named Freddy who is on bed rest from an injured leg and he is bored from not having anything to do. His mother offers to tell him a scary story and after that he begs his father and grandmother to do the same. There are five stories in all, the last one being a story that Freddy makes up himself.

The first story in this somewhat anthology book is called Barbara. Freddy’s mother tells of when she was going house hunting a few years back and went to look at an old house that resembled a castle. When she knocks on the door a pale ghostly girl named Barbara answers the door and lets her into the house, giving her a tour and showing off what was once her room. When Barbara insists that this room be used for a child, Freddy’s mother tells her that it’s none of her business how they decide on rooms and Barbara gets angry. Freddy’s mother hears commotion in the other room and hopes that it's the little girl's parents and thankfully it is. She speaks to Barbara’s parents about how Barbara let her in and showed her around the house. The parents look upset and tell her that it was impossible because Barbara was dead. She died four weeks prior of pneumonia from sleeping in the bed by the window.

The second story, called Harry, is told by Freddy’s father about how when he was younger he needed a tutor for math. A boy from his class named Harry offers to assist him in his studies and tells him they must meet somewhere other than his house since it’s no good. Harry is described in the story as having pale, unhealthy skin, wears the same black clothes every day, unkempt hair, and a peculiar smell. Freddy’s father agrees to Harry’s suggestion of tutoring and they begin studying together at his house. Every day after their studies, Freddy’s father passes out from exhaustion on the desk where they are working. One time he even finds drops of blood on his paper. Over time, Freddy’s father becomes anemic and is bedridden for a week. Freddy’s father returns to school and notices Harry has been missing. He gets Harry’s address and goes to his apartment building to see how he is. He doesn’t find a doorbell with Harry’s last name so he starts ringing doorbells to see if anyone there can tell him where Harry is, or if he moved. He finally finds someone who knew Harry and explained how he and his family haven’t lived there in 25 years and how his mother and sister died of chlorosis…another word for anemia. As you can see from the pic and the brief description of the story, it's safe to say this is a vampire tale...!

The Child under the Cloak is the third story told by Freddy’s grandmother and it’s another ghost child story. This time, Freddy’s grandmother is shopping at the market when she notices a barefoot child wearing nothing but a yellow raincoat in the freezing cold. She can’t tell if the child is a little boy or a girl, but she can tell that the child is sickly looking with a pale, ashen face. She tells the child that it should be wearing shoes and clothes or else it could catch its death. The child is moved by how concerned she is and this drives Freddy’s grandmother away. She looks back and sees the cloak on the ground and feels terrible that she shoved the child away from her. She goes back and offers to take the child somewhere warm and give it hot cocoa. When she picks up the cloak, nothing is under it. A passerby asks if she was related to the child that had just been hit by a car earlier that day. Freddy’s grandmother held the coat next to her and explains how it felt like the body of a warm child still inhabited the cloak.

Personally, the fourth story is my favorite. Wolfgang- I guess you could imagine what this is about. Yep! A werewolf. Freddy’s mother, Sabina, tells of when she was a child visiting her Aunt Matilda who worked as a nanny at a mansion. Before Sabina arrives, Aunt Matilda sends a letter telling her that the family is strange and the boy Wolfgang is peculiar and to not be afraid, but to watch out for him. Young Sabina is concerned and curious what Wolfgang will be like when she arrives. When she does arrive at the mansion, the butler lets her in and tells her to wait as her Aunt is busy tending to Wolfgang. This is where Angela Sommer-Bodenburg reigns in her storytelling because in these moments you feel tense wondering what is going to happen and the descriptions of what Sabina hears makes you feel uneasy to be her, including a scream and a crash. When Aunt Matilda comes down she shows Sabina her apartment and tells her that they will be eating dinner with the family – meaning that she will be meeting the infamous Wolfgang.

One of my favorite parts of the story is when they gather around the table for dinner. This part provides the illustration which was the cover of the library book I used to check out as a kid; it’s Wolfgang holding a bloody steak up to his mouth with his sharp claws on his hairy hands. All Wolfgang wants are bloody steaks as Freddy’s mother describes as being unappetizing they are so bloody. When they tell him he can’t have any more steak until he cuts his nails he runs from the table and knocks his chair over. Later that night Sabina hears howling. Aunt Matilda tells her that it’s Wolfgang. She gets up to go check on him and finds that he slashed the maid with his nails and jumped out the window and is out in the night looking for meat.

The last story And They Went over the Hill is Freddy’s story that he wrote about a group of children basically being neglected by their parents at a party, giving the impression that the parents are usually always neglectful. They are over-eating junk food, getting sick from it, and making paper lanterns all the while the parents aren't paying attention to anything going on. At the end of the story, the children try and show their parents what they have created with their lanterns but they are too busy socializing to bother looking at what their kids have done. The children gather in a group and start whispering, and the adults take note. The kids form a line and light their lanterns before going over the hill…never to be seen again. The town searches and searches, but the children were gone.

All of these stories are fun but there is enough creepiness to make the book stand out from other children’s books. Again, though the targeted audience is young, I think that any adult, especially those who love classic horror movies, would pick this book up and enjoy every page. The stories are unique and stick with you long after reading them. It’s definitely mandatory that I mention Helga Spiess’ black and white illustrations which help make this book an eerie read. Her drawings put me in mind of Stephen Gammell’s work but she has her own style which brings this already amazing book to a whole other level. If it seems that I’m trying to hype this book up then maybe it’s because I am. You can get it for cheap on Amazon so do it NOW before the month of October is over because this is the perfect time of year to curl up and read this with a mug of hot cocoa or a pumpkin spice latte. I love books and stories like this because as a great line in this very book states, “With a scary story you can’t ask about the how and why or it loses its magic…”

-Vanessa Nocera

Here are some alternate covers of the book - the first being a Spanish version gets my vote for being the best! 

This next cover is fun and is the same as the book that I originally bought in the '90s when I finally found it at the school's book sale when I was a kid, but it isn't the best cover.